Big Spender

I'm always writing about Nathan and Charlotte, but this post is devoted to Wayne. This is the funniest story! Last week, Wayne had to go to Nashville for business. He's been really busy at work the past few weeks, and wasn't really looking forward to going out of town. He was so exhausted but at least he was able to schedule his flight so that he would arrive in Nashville a few hours early so that he could rest and relax before going to dinner that night with everyone. From the moment he left, nothing went right. First of all, whenever Wayne travels, he valets his car at the airport so that he can park right away and get in. Well, for some reason, the valet guys weren't there so Wayne had to circle and circle the garage looking for a parking place. He found one and quickly made it to the plane. Luckily, his flight wasn't delayed at all, and he made good time getting to Nashville. He took a cab to his hotel and saw that he had a good 2 hours before having to meet in the lobby. It was just enough time to watch some football and rest in bed. So Wayne goes to turn on the TV, and it just so happens that the channels showing the game were not working. "That's just great, but oh well. I'll just lay in bed and check scores on my phone," he thought. Wayne goes to get his phone and can't find it anywhere. He remembered taking it out of his pocket in the cab to get to his wallet...and setting it on the seat next to him. Wayne panicked for a moment. I mean he HAS to have his phone while there on business, but how was he going to know what cab he was in?! Then he remembered he paid with a credit card and had the receipt. The name of the company and number of the cab was there! Thank goodness! He called the company and the company contacted the cab driver who confirmed that he did have Wayne's phone and could deliver it to him in 30 minutes. Whew! Of course Wayne had to pay him $25 for the extra trip, but at least he had his phone back. After returning to the room, phone in hand, Wayne checked the clock. He's got a little over an hour left. So Wayne got back in bed and closed his eyes to try to get a quick nap in. Then, all of a sudden, the fire alarm starts going off! "You've got to be kidding me!" Wayne lays there a while seeing if it will go off, but no. So he gets up, and goes to the hall to look out. He finds out its a false alarm and there's no need to evacuate. So he goes back to bed, but the alarm keeps blaring and blaring and BLARING! Finally, it turns off. Clock check...30 minutes...time to get up and take a shower...no nap.

Even though Wayne didn't get a nap in, he had fun visiting with everyone in the lobby and going out to dinner. After dinner, a group of people decided to walk to one of the bars, Tooties, to listen to some live music and have a few more drinks. Wayne was having a really good time when one of the band members came around with his tip jar. Everyone really liked the band, but all Wayne had in the way of cash was twenties and a few ones. He gave him two dollars apologized to the guy for only having a few dollars on him, but the guy was really nice and said every little bit helps and thank you. As the night went on, Wayne and his co-workers were really having a good time. Everyone was drinking (their hotel was in walking distance so no one was worried about driving) and they were all really loving the band. So Wayne decided he was going to be a little more generous...and show off a bit. He was going to give him a...drum roll please...Twenty! When one of the band members came back around, Wayne called him over and said, "Hey man, I found a little something extra for you." He gave him the twenty dollar bill and said, "You guys are amazing." The band guy was so appreciative. He thanked Wayne several times and told him if he had any song requests, to be sure to tell him. Wayne was a little surprised by how thankful he was, but like he said earlier, every little bit helps. And Wayne knew a $20 tip was very generous.

At the end of the night, everyone walked back to the hotel. When they got to the hotel, everyone said goodnight, and then Wayne's boss asked Wayne if he could borrow a few dollars for his cab ride home. Wayne told him he only had twenties but he could still have one. As Wayne was looking through his wallet, he was thinking, "Wait a minute, I know I had more money than this." But he didn't want to make a big deal about it while his boss was there so he have him a twenty and then went up to his room. Wayne opened his wallet and started frantically searching through it. "Where the hell is that HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL?!?!" Yes, Wayne had a few dollar bills, some twenties, and a hundred dollar bill in his wallet. He dumped out his wallet...no hundred. And then it hit him. No wonder the band guy was so appreciative! Instead of tipping him a twenty, he accidentally have him a hundred! The shock of throwing away ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS mixed with the fact that he had been drinking, made him feel like he was about to pass out! When Wayne was telling me this, I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe! Wayne, Mr. Conservative, just tipped a guy in a bar $100! A $5 tip would have been nice...$10 would be generous...and $20 (what he thought he gave) would have been exceptional! But $100?! That's ridiculous! Wayne said that when he started thinking about all he could have spent that hundred dollars on, it just made him sick...I mean he'd rather buy everyone a round, or two rounds of drinks than give it to a stranger! I could just imagine the shock he felt at the realization of tipping a hundred. I don't even think I would do that! Poor Wayne!

After recovering from my uncontrollable laughter, I told Wayne that he learned two lessons: First, don't drink so much that you can't tell the difference between a twenty and a hundred, and secondly, don't try to be a show off. Isn't that the funniest thing?!